This time last year, I felt miserable. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, I was a total mess. I’ve actually never felt so unhealthy in all my life. And by unhealthy, I mean the complete sense of the word, not just physically. The scales tipped to a number they’d never seen before… at least when I stood on them. I was taking two blood pressure meds and I’ve never had a blood pressure problem. I was taking anti-anxiety medication along with antidepressants and I wasn’t sleeping. I felt like I was in the tailspin of all tailspins and I couldn’t find my way out.
We all know at least one person who struggles with weight for one reason or another. Food addiction, genetics, stress, whatever the case may be. It’s such a common problem in our culture for so many reasons. Unfortunately, the first thing associated with being overweight is looks, attractiveness, sexy-ness, pant size, etc. Sad as it is, this is truth. Consequently, when someone sets out on a path of fitness, people assume they want to lose weight so they’ll look better and when they look better, they’ll feel better. There is some truth in that, but not a whole lot. And besides, skinny isn’t necessarily pretty. I’ve met a lot of skinny people that were ugly assholes. I’ve also met a lot of heavy people that are incredibly beautiful. And vice versa. Just putting that out there.
When I decided to get healthy at the beginning of the year, it had nothing to do with what size I was wearing. I couldn’t have cared less who knew that I was almost 200 pounds and bulging out of my size 14’s. I’ve been up and down with my weight many times and my husband thinks I’m sexy at 200 pounds and sexy at 140 pounds, so my decision to get healthy had nothing to do with being sexy. Believe me. I was sick all the time. I was tired all the time. I was sad all the time. I was angry all the time. I was tired of looking for a prescription to solve all of my woes.
I joined a gym and committed to go. I joined Weight Watchers and committed to comply. I bought a few pieces of workout equipment
and a program I could do at home and drug out the treadmill. I gave myself no outs. The more accountable I was to myself and to others, the better I felt. I started reading again, which believe it or not, is a piece of overall wellness. I sweated. I planned meals. I made different choices. I invested in my life. Slowly, I started waking up.
My blood pressure leveled out and I was able to get rid of both medications. This was a huge win and I, alone, was responsible for it. Empowering!! My anxiety wasn’t rearing its head as much and, although this was terrifying for me, I got rid of that medication. Liberating!! And over the course of the next several months, my antidepressant was cut by two-thirds, with a plan to try to eliminate in the near future. This was all due to changing what I was feeding my body, and adding in regular exercise. Not to look good, but to feel better. To feel alive. Looking better is just a perk. My eyes sparkle again, my hair and skin look better, my dimples show much more often… because I feel good.
I get bored easy and sometimes this gets me into trouble. So, I recently decided to take my fitness to the next level to maintain some accountability, and to learn more about nutrition and exercise. More to come on this as my journey unfolds.
I have repeatedly abused my mind, body, and soul in the past. They (mind, body, soul) respond to whatever I feed them. Plain and simple. I need them to function and play nice together so I’ll continue to explore different ways to help the process along.
Be active. Be healthy. Be happy.