I’m in week 5 of a journey that will hopefully last the rest of this lifetime. Eventually, I’ll stop counting, but for some reason right now the numbers are important to me.
I’ve cycled through heavy and thin a handful of times, beginning in grade school. Each time I go through the cycle of gaining and losing, I learn new things about myself. I notice my coping skills (or lack thereof), my relationships with people, food, and my body, and my overall health. I’ve taken drugs to lose weight (legal and illegal). I’ve gone to self-help groups. I’ve cut my calories to under 1000 a day. I’ve exercised excessively. I have literally tried almost everything, but for some reason, I wasn’t able to sustain. Inevitably, something would happen, rip the rug out from underneath my feet, and I would fall. Defeated. Embarrassed. Broken. Each time this has happened it’s been a little harder to find a light at the end of the tunnel. I’m a pretty dang tenacious person though. I don’t generally let things keep me down for long. I just figure shit out.
So that’s what I’m doing now. I’m figuring shit out. I’m paying attention to everything. I’m doing some super intense self-discovery. It’s weird, uncomfortable, awkward, and a bit scary. We all know I can’t stay inside my comfort zone for very long at any given time, so this seems like a great challenge for me. One of my passions is writing. I’m not the best writer in the world, but it’s something I really love to do. So, I’d like to share this journey with anyone who wants to follow along. Let me catch you up.
I’m working with Big Jon Fitness in Nampa, ID, focusing on good, clean nutrition and lifting weights to build muscle and get my metabolism working like it should. I have a fantastic trainer who I adore more and more every week. I’m making a conscious effort every single day to do what’s right regarding my health and my body is responding. That’s pretty freaking cool if you ask me. Dang empowering. I treat my body good… my body treats me good.
Total disclosure. My goal is to do a competition. Not to win… but just to get my body in good enough shape to compete. I have lots of fears and excuses as to why this may never happen, but I don’t want to entertain those thoughts. If I never set the goal and follow a path to get there, if I don’t believe it’s a possibility, then it will never come to be. So there you have it.
Week 5: I feel good. I’m committed. I’ve put my goal in writing. I’m accountable.
Be daring. Be adventurous. Be powerful.