This has been a rough week. I’m working to change my sleep schedule and habits, which I’m learning is not an easy thing to do… at all. My goal is to get my workouts in early. I feel more focused and have more energy throughout the day and then my evenings can be a little more relaxing. Sounds great, right? Shouldn’t be a difficult thing to do. Well, 6am seemed reasonable. It wasn’t. Next choice was 5:30am. No room at the inn. And 5am wasn’t any better. So, this week I hit the gym at 4:30am and it was almost perfect every day.
I’m willing to go to bed earlier most days, but This Is Us and The Voice are priorities. Don’t judge. I was so tired Wednesday and Thursday that I went to bed earlier than I put my kids to be when they were toddlers. Mornings have been pretty uneventful, but by 2pm, I’m yawning, itchy-eyed, and feeling pretty bitchy.
Confession time. It would have been so easy to wallow in my grumpiness and to make everyone around me pay for the fact that I’m sleep deprived and foggy-brained. I thought about shutting the alarm off and sleeping for another 2 hours every morning. I fought with myself several times each day about the choices I’ve been making and why I’m making them and is it worth it.
Change has never been easy, but I sure do love it. It makes me a better person all the way around. Figuring out how to implement change, how to stick to it through the tough times, and how to make it stick is a difficult process to navigate. But it builds character. So… I didn’t hit snooze, or shut my alarm off. I didn’t wallow in my grumpiness (at least not for very long), and I didn’t make anyone pay for my sleep deprivation.
Bottom line is that eventually, an earlier bedtime will be a normal bedtime. The alarm at 4am will be a normal noise, and I’ll feel better throughout the day. The process of change isn’t a bad thing. It’s just a thing. But it feels a little shitty before it feels natural.
At the end of this week, I feel like I won. I found something to smile about, something to be thankful for, and something meaningful every day. Because I looked for it.
Be persistent in your quest for something good.
Be gentle with yourself when you’re making a change.
Be patient while your life settles into a new normal.
It’s all worth it. I promise.