Thoughts, reflections, and updates…

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This weekend, I decided to take some time to “rest and refill”, which is incredibly difficult for me to do. It’s something I want to be able to do. I actually yearn for it. But I really suck at it. So, my Saturday “rest and refill” consisted of bootcamp at 8am (which I love), posing practice at 9:30am, a tortuous commute back home,

Nothing better on a blustery day!

hot tub (hell yes!!!), meal prepping, laundry, kitchen cleaning, and more laundry. Does that sound like rest and relaxation? It doesn’t feel like I’ve quite mastered the skill.

It’s so hard for me to just sit down and be; to read a book without doing something else at the same time, like cardio for instance. But I’m learning. I’m making progress. The last two weekends, I’ve forced myself (don’t worry, I didn’t hurt myself in the process) to watch a movie from start to finish. It was WONDERFUL!! I sat in my own home, in my comfy chair, under a warm blankie and actually watched a movie. My daily 15-minute hot tub soaks are incredibly therapeutic in so many ways. I’m mindful each day that I need balance in my life. This weekend, my “rest and refill” is mostly that I didn’t drive in to Boise. I stayed in my new/old little neck of the woods.

I’ve decided that my “journey of transformation” isn’t really a new journey. I’ve actually been on this journey since I made my way into this world in 1966. We’re all transforming, whether we’re aware of it or not. The key is to be mindful of where we’ve come from and the person we’ve been, to strive to understand the person we currently are, and to purposefully identify the things about ourselves (physical and not) that we might want to transform. Personally, I never want to be stagnant. I always want to be engaged in something new. My curiosity is a very dominant characteristic of my personality and one that I enjoy. Thankfully.

Some of the things I’ve explored throughout my life have been short-lived and others have not, but I always take something away. None have been worthless. They’re all part of who I am today, and the older I get, the more comfortable I am with that person. For that, I feel very fortunate.

Everything I’ve just written, brings me to the points I want to make:

  1. Transformation is never on just one level – physical, mental, emotional, spiritual – we are all of these things every single moment. If we transform one aspect of ourselves, it touches them all. For example, when we start meditating, the emotional and spiritual aspects of ourselves change and, in turn, we feel better, we hold ourselves differently, our energy changes and people notice. This happens whenever we strengthen any aspect of our being.
  2. We are who we are at any given moment, no matter what our physical appearance is. In the past, when I’ve been at my unhealthiest, I’ve reacted to people and situations based on what I assume they think of me. How messed up is that? It’s unfair to the other people because I’m basically projecting my messed up emotional and physical state onto them and it’s unfair to me because I completely lose myself in this process. Any confidence I would normally have is buried, any sense of humor, any value I could bring to any discussion, it’s all gone. I think others see me as frumpy, quiet, sad, sick, irritable, tired, or just plain worthless, so that’s how I act. That’s where many of us get stuck in a tailspin and it’s damn near impossible to pull ourselves out. Just do it. Go to bed earlier. Don’t eat that donut. Drink three glasses of water today. Smile at yourself in the mirror and then smile at 10 other people today. Go for a 10-minute walk for the next three days then add 5 minutes. You’re not going to feel better in six months when you lose 15 lb. You’re going to feel better the second you make one healthy choice for yourself and, I promise, your energy will change.
  3. Pay attention to your journey and know that you always have a choice in the direction you travel.

Update on my track to the NPC Southern Idaho Showdown on May 26th: It’s been super fun and most enlightening. I’ve already met so many unbelievably cool people. I don’t think I could be in better hands than I am with Big Jon Fitness. Never imagined myself enjoying a sport like this, but so far, I do.

We’re 89 days out and each week brings something new. I’m curious, excited, and filled with anticipation.

Killed my workout this morning! Listened to Amazon Music 80’s Rock Station, which made it so easy! Looking forward to a new pair of jeans and a cheat meal this evening!




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