I had a little bit of a breakdown after coming home from the conference I attended last month.
Too many days and too many people for my introverted self (though I would do it again because the conference was amazing). Although I was eating on meal plan and working out the entire time I was there, and I resumed without missing a beat when I got home, I was off kilter and my attitude reflected that. All of my self-talk was negative, consisting of things such as:
I’m too damned old for this.
I’ll never be ready for stage.
I have too much cellulite.
My smile is ugly.
What the hell am I going to do about makeup?
I’ll be laughed at standing next to the rest of these ladies.
I’m waiting another year. Fuck this!
I just don’t have it in me.
I don’t need to do this.
I don’t have to do this.
I’m not strong enough for this.
Wow. How sad. I would never talk to anyone else like this, even if they weren’t my favorite person. Why do I get so down on myself?
I decided to look at my “before” picture from November/December 2016, and put it next to a more recent photo. I cried. I vowed to myself that I would put every ounce of effort into only positive self-talk. I am worth it. We all are. Here are things I’ve been saying (aloud when possible) to myself every day for the past week:
I have come so far.
I feel amazing.
I look amazing.
I am healthy.
I am disciplined.
I am determined.
I am strong.
I am courageous.
I no longer compare myself to others.
This is my journey.
I can finish this.
I will finish this.
Truth is, these are things I should always have been saying to myself, about whatever I was focusing on in my life at the time. Pep talks are good for the soul. They fuel our fire.
Decide where you want to go. Know why you want to go there. Figure out what tools you’ll need to get there and how you’ll acquire these tools. Start small. But just start. Begin your journey. Then, bring your best self. Every single day. That’s the only thing you have to do to be successful. Do not give up. Work hard. Give all you’ve got. Super important to note, give yourself permission to feel good about where you are now. Just know that you won’t stay where you’re at for long.
49 days and counting… transforming my insides and my outsides at the very same time!